


Prim And Proper

by ExistentialMalaises



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluffy Moments, Friendship/Love, Porn With Plot, Read it - you want to, Slow Burn, Smut, Unrequited Love, slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-09-29 20:09:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10143014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExistentialMalaises/pseuds/ExistentialMalaises
Summary: “If anyone had asked [Y/N] a year ago what her life would be like now, then never in a million years had she thought that it would be as complicated as it was today. After all, she considered herself a virtuous and drama-free girl, who (yes, okay) did low-key enjoy observing drama amongst other people, but tried not to get involved in any of it of it herself. Looking at her life now, she knew the same could not be said anymore...”[Y/N] never knew that unrequited love could turn her into a person she no longer recognized, and after she learned about a dangerous secret it began to consume her.





	1. How It All Began.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea popped in my head a while ago... I didn’t do much with it, but figured I might as well write it down. See if it appeals to the crowd. It’s not as dark and twisted as the summary makes it sound... Ok, I suppose that’s debatable, haha. Happy reading!

If anyone had asked [Y/N] a year ago what her life would be like now, then never in a million years had she thought that it would be as complicated as it was today. After all, she considered herself a virtuous and drama-free girl, who ( _yes, okay_ ) did low-key enjoy observing drama amongst other people, but tried not to get involved in any of it of it herself. Looking at her life now, she knew the same could not be said anymore. 

She remembered exactly when it all started. A year ago she was offered a new position in New York City, and she was really considering moving, but the expenses that came with living in a cosmopolitan city made her hesitant. _Yes, the position meant more money, but just the bills for my residence alone would probably diminish my income by half. New York City was ridiculously expensive._ She considered it a sign when her half-brother Clint, whom she had no idea about for two-thirds of her life until he showed up at her home one day when he was hurt during a mission, informed her of his vacant room in the Avengers’ Tower and offered it to her. He would not be using it, since he gave up his Avenger life, and wanted to live at home with his wife and children.

However, Clint’s offer did not take away her doubt. She did not know him that well, but she knew that he was trying to do right by her with his offer; he had some misplaced guilt, and this was his way of making up for being absent in her life for such a long time. She never blamed him for his absence, though. Heck, she did not even know about a half-brother, so she never thought she missed out on one. Another thing that held her back was having to live with all these … people. These special and empowered people who fought justice and whatnot. [Y/N] had never been really interested in living with roommates, and especially not what she imaged to be a bunch of overemotional superheroes with big egos and even bigger dramatics. She watched the news. _And, boy, did they take their arguments to an extreme. Talk about airing out your dirty laundry_. 

Nonetheless, she saw his offer as a sign and after talking it through with her friends back at home, she came to the conclusion that she would be insane not to take her half-brother up on his offer. It meant she was unencumbered by the living expenses that The City brought with it, which made the compromise of living with several housemates who worked fervently, and some of them did not even reside in the Tower full-time, much more acceptable. The blonde God did not spend most of his time on Earth, the green giant had moved out indefinitely, and the billionaire only made an appearance in common areas when he was not working (apparently he and the boy-next-door had some troubles). So the ones she interacted with most of the time were Wanda, Natasha, Steve, and Sam. The transition had been difficult, since not all of her new roommates agreed with Clint’s decision. 

“This isn’t a smart idea, Barton.” Steve said sternly as he crossed his arms in front his chest.

“It’s my room, so my choice.” Clint was not in the mood for a discussion. 

“Tony, surely you don’t **—** ” Steve tried to appeal to Tony, since he knew he was the only one who could veto such a decision.

To spite Steve, Tony raised his shoulders and walked away, “I don’t see why not.” 

“She’s a civilian. She could get hurt.” Steve directed his attention back to Clint.

“The Tower is a fort, and she’ll be surrounded by superheroes. If there’s anyone I trust with my kid-sister then it’s you lot.” And with that Clint ended the discussion. 

Winning her roommates over had not gone easy. She only saw them in the communal areas, such as the kitchen, the common room, and in the private theater (in the beginning she really did not go to the fitness room that often - _it was kinda intimidating_ ). Out of all her roommates, Wanda was the easiest to befriend, since she seemed lonely and withdrawn, so when she met someone who was not related to her professional life and was not afraid of her, it did not take long before she opened up to [Y/N]. Sam came next. He seemed to be the life of the party amongst the Avengers, but maybe that was the case since most of them were not very forthcoming - at least not with her. Tony was mostly disinterested, but he was quick-witted and friendly. Vision was a weird fellow, with confrontational observations, so she tended to avoid him. Natasha was often away on missions, but when she was around she was quiet and observant. She talked most with Steve, who [Y//N] thought would be the hardest to get to know. He was not unfriendly by any means, but he kept [Y/N] at a great distance in the beginning, always remaining formal and overly polite. It made her feel a bit uncomfortable, but she never said no to any challenge - and it brought out the playful side of her personality. 

Each morning she would wake up on time so she could enjoy the peace and quiet before she had to deal with reality, meaning work life and awake roommates. There was nothing that took her mind off of her troubles than cooking, so her first day at the Tower she got out of bed early and ventured out to the kitchen that she shared with her roommates. As she walked into the big kitchen, which had a high countertop and high chairs, she took in the smell of freshly baked pancakes and sugary delights. She walked around the counter and saw Steve crouching on the floor as he rummaged through the freezer. She cleared her throat, announcing her presence, and he looked up and nodded at her. 

“You made pancakes?” She asked as she walked further in the kitchen.

“Good morning. I did.” He removed a box of frozen red fruits and closed the freezer. 

“It smells delicious.” 

He turned his back to her and poured the red fruits and some milk in a blender, before he turned to her again. 

“Thank you, ma’am. Help yourself to some” **–** He pointed to the stack of pancakes on the right **–** “I’m making a smoothie. Would you like one?”

“Euhm, ok. And please, Steve. My name is [Y/N], not ma’am.” 

“Alright.” He nodded while he offered her a plate for her pancakes. 

“You’re up really early, by the way. How come?”

“I don’t need a lot of sleep.”

She quickly realized that she was not the only one who took solace in early mornings and cooking, so these peaceful and private moments that the two shared every day, made him warm up to her sooner than they both had expected. They were silent when they needed the quiet, and they were talkative when they were awake enough to create a cozy atmosphere, which usually led to quickly changing topics from thoughtful debates to playful banter. 

Laughter filled the air while warmth spread over her unclothed legs. “Oh, come on, Steve. How can you not like Darth Vader? He is the coolest character in the whole _Star Wars_ franchise.” [Y/N] challenged him as she sat on the counter next to the kitchen stove where he was flipping pancakes. 

“Sure, he’s got great powers, but he’s evil.” 

“You’re so black-and-white, so set on good vs. evil. Darth Vader is flawed. Extremely flawed, but he turned to the Dark Side for interesting reasons, for love, and eventually he redeemed himself, again out of love. He did bad things but with goodish intentions. There’s an underlying message here.” 

“Perhaps, but I like that Obi-Wan much better.”

“Well, at least we can both agree that Obi-Wan is amazing and Luke sucks.”

“No, Luke does not _suck_.”

“Ok, no. That’s it! How are we friends?” [Y/N] laughed, but she was genuinely surprised by his statement about Luke.

“Are we? Friends?” He gave her a small smile, but averted his eyes. 

“Of course we are.” A confused expression appeared on her face. 

“Good. That’s nice. This is nice.” He was still concentrated on the pancakes.

“Alright… Steve.” 

“I haven’t had a friend outside of work since… forever. It’s great to talk about things that aren’t related to it.” He finally looked her in the eyes and gave her another smile. 

“Glad to be of service.” She saluted him with a wink, and he threw his head back and laughed at her lightheartedness. 

Even more unimaginable to [Y/N] was how quickly they connected after that moment. He would approach her outside of their mornings together too, whenever he thought of something peculiar that they had talked about earlier, or if something funny had happened to him during his work hours - admittedly the latter was not a common occurrence. He had begun spending more time with Wanda and [Y/N], watching all the movies and shows he had to catch up on, and trying to connect with a younger crowd, since everyone seemed younger in comparison to him. Sam was always around too, and so the foursome grew closer over spilled drinks, buttered popcorn and poking fun at the old guy. 

“What about when he kalled you a ‘worrd grrubber’, rright [Y/N]?” Wanda wiped away a tear that was about to fall down her cheek. 

“Our faces, though!! What does that even mean?!” [Y/N] doubled up with laughter.

“I meant you were being _pretentious_.” Steve gave a tight smile and looked at the girls as they curled up in their theater seats and held on their bellies at his response, because their laughters became painful. 

“Well, if it gets another rise out of you then I’m all for it.” [Y/N] tried to be serious, but failed. 

He just shook his head and took the popcorn away from them. He could not help the smile on his face from growing bigger since his heart expanded as he grew fonder of his girls and the sounds of their happiness, even if they usually were at his expense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon.  
> Hope you liked it! Do let me know via kudos/comments?!  
> Check out [my tumblr](http://existentialmalaises.tumblr.com) if you want.  
> 


	2. This Thing Called Jealousy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Y/N] tries to deal with her feelings for Steve.

It was not until he brought Sharon around one day, his girlfriend, when [Y/N] experienced a new emotion around Steve, and realized an undeniable truth. No matter how much she _did_ try to refute it - first to herself and then to Wanda who had read her feelings. There really was no denying it: she was jealous of Sharon. She seemed like an amiable girl, and had taken an interest in [Y/N], especially once she noted how important [Y/N] had become in Steve’s life. 

[Y/N] tried to find a comfortable position on the couch in the common room as she was scrolling on her phone, only to tap on it every now and then when she read or saw a post she loved on tumblr, when Steve walked in with his girlfriend. She thoroughly enjoyed spending hours of her time on the Internet, going through her dashboard and favorite tags. She often received confused looks from observers (known as her roommates) when she would suddenly burst out in laughter over something funny she saw. _They must think of me as very weird_ , she thought amusedly. Her head moved up when she noticed the unexpected guest, and [Y/N] sat up straight abruptly and put down her phone. 

“Hey there, [Y/N].” Steve walked up to her with a smile. 

“Oh, hi.” She repressed a yawn. _Guess I was a bit too comfortable_. 

“I’d like you to meet my girlfriend. This is Sharon.”

“Oh… right. Hi.” She lifted herself off the couch slowly and looked at Sharon’s hand. She moved her hand to meet Sharon’s, and shook it. Her handshake was swift and strong, and [Y/N] wanted to cower away. Sharon looked beautiful, confident and powerful. It made [Y/N] feel like the complete opposite. _She must be everything wonderful if he fell for her_. 

“Sharon, this is [Y/N].”

“Yeah, euhm, that’s me.” She put her phone in her pocket and fidgeted with her fingers. 

Feeling unsure of herself was not an emotion that [Y/N] often dealt with, but when you start hanging out with overempowered people, it can start to feel like they are in a league of their own. And it did not mean mean much to her that she admired Steve, because who would not think highly of this almost perfect man? Steve offered to pour them a drink, and the girls sat down to get to know one another better. She scooted uncomfortably on the couch, trying to find a position that would make her look and feel more poised - as poised as his girlfriend looked. As she heard the rattling noises coming from the kitchen and observed the movements of Sharon’s mouth, it dawned upon her that [Y/N] did more than just admire Steve. _Why else would I care about Sharon?_

“You know, Steve talks about you all the time.” Sharon smiled. 

[Y/N] turned on some music, trying to distract herself from saying the wrong thing. _Like how he never talked about Sharon to me_. “All good things, I hope?” She said instead. 

“Hah, yes. Mostly. I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time.”

“Well, I’m happy to contribute to his good spirits. He contributes to mine as well.” [Y/N] shifted her eyes to Sharon’s nails, not wanting to look her in the eye, and noticed how nicely manicured they were. Then she looked at her own, and she decided she should make an appointment with her nail salon. _It’s been ages_. 

“My favorite girls aren’t talking about me, huh?” His eyes twinkled as he walked up to the women with two hot drinks in his hands. 

“Thanks, Steve.” Sharon took her drink.

“Don’t be so vain, Steve. Us girls have so many other things to talk about.” **–** [Y/N] took her coffee and got up **–** “I’ll be in my room. Nice… meeting you, Sharon.”

“What happened?” Steve gave Sharon a perplexed look as he saw [Y/N] walk away. 

Sharon shook her head quietly as she blew on her tea, “No idea.”

After [Y/N] no longer could deny that she had feelings for Steve, she had begun taking it out on him, especially when Sharon was around. Her presence was an explicit reminder of how [Y/N] did not and could not have Steve. In some ways she felt bad for him, she supposed, but being rude and ignoring him when he wanted attention made her feel better. She realized that she had started to become this petty person, who wanted him to suffer like she suffered. But her sudden coldness towards him only made him concerned and more attentive, which in the long run made [Y/N] fall for him harder. _What a clusterfuck_. 

“Hey [Y/N].” He opened the door to her room, and walked in. 

She was seated on her king-sized bed and looked at the time on her laptop, before she slowly put it away and turned to him. A yawn escaped her lips, but she sat up straight, trying to remain awake and attentive. 

“Hey Steve, what’s up?” 

“Nothing much. Just missed you this morning. Wanted to catch up with you before I head to bed.” He stood next to her bed and waited for her response. 

She tapped her fingers next to her thigh and her eyes glazed over the dark blue sweatpants and grey undershirt he was wearing. _He’s hard to resist when his shirts are always so tight_. She made a rotating motion on the open space next to her with her hand, and he took his slippers off while his eyes beamed with appreciation. He lied down next to her, one arm lounging behind his head as he looked up at her face, anticipation written all over it. 

Nervous butterflies fluttered through her stomach and her heart started racing when he kept looking at her silently. _Ugh, I’m such a train wreck_. “Yes, Steve?” She tried to sound uninvested. 

He chuckled, “So tell me about your day?”

And so she did. She told him about how Casey at work had tried to one-up her in front of the boss, and how she turned the tables on her. Steve praised her with words and smiles, which made her feel significantly better. She told him about the date she had gone on with a guy she met at a bar, while she carefully examined every micro expression he had to offer, perhaps overselling the guy just to provoke Steve. He was listening carefully, and it annoyed her that he did not seem as affected by her story as she wanted him to be. She told him how she had turned Wanda into a _Veronica Mars_ fanatic, and that they had started watching the episodes together. He asked her why she liked the show so much, and she brought up feminism; a topic they discussed until the late hours of the night, until she could no longer keep her eyes open and gradually fell asleep with him lying next to her, quietly admiring the rise and fall of her body until he was sure she was in a deep slumber so he could leave her bed without waking her. 

After that moment the midnight sessions on her soft bed, veiled by the flickers of dimmed candles in the dark, became just as much a common occurrence as their private moments at the crack of dawn in the kitchen, surrounded by sweet and savory scents as they cooked together. It made her regret that she had behaved so childishly towards him. He obviously cared about her, spend a lot of his time with her, perhaps even more than with his girlfriend, and she was willing to take satisfaction with what he _could_ give. Most of all, she was tired of feeling so torn up about him, so she began dating more, even when the men drastically fell short in comparison to him. _Can’t say I did not try… extensively_.

“What was wrong with, Mr. Leather Jacket then?” Sam asked her while the two played a round of _Tekken_ on the PS4, and Steve sat on the couch behind them, doodling in his notebook. 

“Too nice? Not nice enough? Too handsome? Too short? I swear, I’ve heard all the excuses.” 

“Oh, piss off, Sam.” 

“Hey… language.” Steve interjected, never taking his eyes of his notebook. 

Both Sam and [Y/N] rolled their eyes then smiled at one another, before [Y/N] knocked him out in the game. A rush of excitement sped through her body. She stood up, a triumphant smile spread across her face, and raised her hands. 

“That’s what you get for trash-talking, Sam. Eat shit!” 

Sam bursted out in laughter and asked for another round. [Y/N] sat down again and was more than willing to show him how winners play. 

“I’m sure [Y/N] has valid reasons for not pursuing those guys. She’s a sweetheart, after all.” Steve said after a moment of silence, as he looked up and gave her a loving smile. 

_Why don’t you just stomp me in the gut_. Her heart fluttered and she returned a shy smile as she felt her body heat up, making her look down at her controller, while Sam just rolled his eyes again and won the next round. 

No matter how many guys she dated, her feelings for Steve never withered. When he threw around kind remarks, something he did very often with her because he had a good heart, it only worsened her agony. With each passing day it became harder to be around him, around his loving words, his beautiful smile, and his affectionate treatment. Her heart had stopped fluttering. Instead it started crumbling down into smaller pieces while she longed for something she could never have. She had become so frustrated that she even considered moving away, finally finding her own place somewhere in New York City. She was willing to pay any price to make her heartache end. 

“You’ll miss him terrribly if you move avay, [Y/N]. Besides, think of me. I’ll miss _you_ terrribly. What vould I do vithout you here?” Wanda tried to comfort her friend. 

“We would still see each other all the time.” [Y/N] bit her lip nervously. 

“No, we vouldn’t. Not like we do now. I don’t accept it.”

[Y/N] sighed, temporarily admitting defeat. She wasn’t really ready to leave the closest friends she had made in New York City. She loved this amazing and beautiful city, but it lacked warmth and feeling since most of the people here were tough, distant and cold. 

“I-I just don’t know what to do, Wanda. He has a girlfriend. He treats me like his little sister. It kills me.” 

“I know.” She held her friend’s hand. 

That night when he knocked on her door to seek comfort and affection in her bed, she quickly turned her back towards her door, pretending to be asleep. She shut her eyes tightly, then tried to relax them, since she knew he would be able to see she was faking it if he bothered to make sure she was awake. Breathing in and out slowly, her eyes visibly relaxed while the rest of her body remained tense. In a quiet manner, he walked into her room, taking a moment to gaze at her, before he softly pulled her blanket to her neck. He knew she liked to be tucked in completely. Then he walked to her candle and blew it out, before he went back to his bedroom. She let out a breaththat she had been holding in after he had approached her bed, and grabbed the blanket and brought it closer to her tender chest. As the air streamed out of her lungs, she tried her best to take control of her trembling bottom lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to give kudos or comment if you liked it.  
> Find [my tumblr](http://existentialmalaises.tumblr.com) here, and the next chapter will be up soon!


	3. A Dangerous Secret.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and [Y/N]'s relationship takes a turn for the worse/better? I'll let you be the judge of that.

Holding back her feelings grew harder with each day, but she repressed them as best as she possibly could without taking it out on him. Then one day her feelings twisted into something darker and dangerous when she discovered something new about him. She was sitting on the window bench in his room, killing some time with a book before he got back from the fitness room, something she had done quite often. He did not mind her presence even if he was absent, since he had a pretty fixed routine when he was not on missions, and he knew she loved that window bench and the view it offered. And she could not stay away from him, no matter how hard she tried. No matter how much she wanted to. They had habitually sat there together: [Y/N] with a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, and Steve with his drawing notebook and pencil to make sketches of her or of the City. 

As the story in her book came to the end, she became more restless. It was a beautiful story with a sad ending, which meant she now needed to read something else, to take away her sadness. She got up from the window bench and walked towards his desk and bookcases to examine if he had any interesting books lying around. She carefully inspected the books in his bookcases when her eyes landed on _The Old Man And The Sea_ , an old favorite of hers, and as she pulled out the book one of his drawing notebooks came along with it, and accidentally fell on the ground. She put the book on his desk and bent down to pick up the notebook. She noticed that one of his drawings had fallen out, so she opened the notebook to make sure it did not get ripped out. 

[Y/N] could not help but beam when she saw that the notebook contained black-and-white sketches of her. Some she was aware of that he had drawn, and others he must have drawn by heart or from a distance. Careful fingers flipped the pages back to admire Steve’s work of her. There were sketches that solely focused on her face, sometimes holding a serene expression, but most of them were cheerful. She could feel the warmth that began to surround her heart and then spread down to obliterate the nervous flutters of the butterflies in her stomach. She enjoyed this feeling much more, and moved to the next page. There were sketches of her body in different positions, some in movement, but most of them as she sat down on the bench and looked outside or looked right at him. He was able to reveal so many sides of her, sides she had never even considered herself. The warmth quickly became overwhelming and she began to feel lightheaded. 

When she flipped another page her mouth fell open and her eyes grew bigger as surprise flashed through them. He had sketched a nude drawing. Her body was positioned horizontally, her eyes were closed and her hair looked soft and spread out over a pillow, while her back arched and one knee was lifted up. She was not completely nude, not on this one, since a long flowing blanket was loosely draped over her figure, covering one leg and a part of her stomach as her hand seemed to grab it. _He had made me look so beautiful_. [Y/N]’s hand moved to her mouth; her fingers unknowingly resting on her skin. She looked at her naked breasts and wondered how much time he had spent thinking about them. Those damn butterflies returned again, and a gush of excitement rushed through her veins. She needed to see the others, and with each page she flipped she saw more detailed nudes of herself, every time in a different pose, and every time very sexualized. 

“Hey [Y/N]. Thought I’d find you in here.” He smiled as he sauntered into his room, but it quickly faded when he saw her holding that particular notebook. 

“I didn’t know you think of me… like this.” She showed him a sketch and her voice wavered. 

A pink tinge immediately developed in his face, “I-I’m sorry. You were not supposed to see that. It-it’s nothing.” 

He abruptly pulled it out her hands and walked behind her, not daring to face her. 

“Do you have notebooks like that for every woman in your life then?” She turned towards him.

“No! No, of course I don’t.” He still avoided her intense stare.

“Then why **—** “

“You should leave, [Y/N]. I need to shower.” He put the notebook in a locked drawer and rushed towards his bathroom; his ears were a deep shade of red. 

She stood there in his room, dazed and confused by his reaction and her feelings. _He… he is sexually attracted to me? He doesn’t think of me as his sister?_ When she heard the sound of water falling down in his bathroom, it snapped her back to reality, and with a newfound confidence she walked out of his room. 

_Maybe I had interpreted his behavior toward me incorrectly. Maybe those affectionate words and touches, were not brotherly at all, since he clearly is physically attracted to me. There’s no denying that._ Thoughts flew through her mind, and she could not help but smile as she changed in her pajamas to ready herself for the quiet that nighttime brought. _But he never let anything on. He never behaved indecently or brazenly… Did he? Not even when I wanted him to._

She thought back to the many nights that he had lain right next to her, right here on her bed, his body only inches away from hers, when she had played with his hair, an action that always relaxed him, as he rested his one arm on his stomach and the other behind his head, comfortably sighing while he listened to her stories with closed eyes. She remembered how comfortable he had gotten with her body, how he would tickle her sides to make her give in when she was being stubborn, or how contentedly he would give her a foot rub when their bodies disappeared in the darkness of the theatre room. All the ways the two conducted themselves with one another came back to her, and she was able to see them in a different light, blatantly failing to remember that he was in a committed relationship with someone else.

The following morning she woke up early, because she knew they had to talk about this. Whatever _this_ was. Eagerly she went down to the kitchen, but there was no delicious scent, there was no sound, and there was no Steve. _Hm, he’s avoiding me._ She tried to go about her business without thinking about him too much, but her distracted mind kept wandering back to him. When he did not get home late at night she receded to her bedroom with a sigh, still hoping he would maybe come visit her. It took her ages to fall asleep, and as the night slowly turned into day her confidence seeped away and annoyance came in its place.

“Ah. You’re here.” She saw him grab some milk from the refrigerator. 

“[Y/N]. Good morning. I’m in the mood for waffles, you?”

_So he was going to act like nothing had happened? Like nothing changed in our relationship? Like he didn’t intentionally ignore me all day yesterday? Well, two can play that game._ “Sure, if you make them.” She walked up to the counter next to the stove and pushed her body on top of it. 

She could not be more aware of her own body and his reactions to it now. Everything was different, even if he pretended it was not. She had put on very short hot pants on purpose, and she wondered what he thought of how her legs were on full display. She could have put on something else, but since the summers in New York City were gruesomely hot, she figured hot pants would be the perfect solution: provocative _and_ practical. His face was neutral as he moved away from her to to grab some cooking supplies. She always thought she was able to read his emotions, but those drawings proved her wrong. 

“Want to help me, though?” He asked her and held up the tools.

She shrugged and he handed her a deep bowl, which she placed in-between her legs. “Alright, fill _me_ up.” 

He stood in front of her and looked down at the bowl, subtly shaking his head, but breaking the eggs on the side of the bowl nonetheless. She added the right amounts of sugar and vanilla extract, while he placed the other ingredients in the bowl.

“Spatula?” She asked and he handed her one, then stepped back to the stove to turn on the heat.

She bent forward slightly, and her arms pushed her breasts together as she stiffly mixed together all the ingredients, making her body vibrate in all the right places. He put the waffle iron on the heat and tapped his fingers impatiently on the counter as his curious eyes glanced towards her before their eyes connected. She felt a slight throb in-between her legs that slowly intensified with each forceful stir that she applied in the bowl. She gave him a smile and he cleared his throat, before he rubbed the back of his neck and moved away from her to open the refrigerator again. 

“Want a drink? It’s important to stay hydrated in this warmth.” He asked as he looked in the refrigerator.

“Yeah, please. I’m pretty hot, especially now that you put me to work.” She had to repress a chuckle. She could not believe these words were coming out of her mouth. 

The consequence of her little discovery and her change in behavior meant fewer visits at night. Even though he was not willing to admit it to [Y/N], Steve did know that things that taken a different turn in their relationship now that what had been revealed could never be taken back, and he did not know how to handle it, so he chose to avoid close proximities when they were alone and surrounded by darkness. He was afraid of the things she would say or do then, but he was even more afraid of how he would respond - and he wondered if he would be able to dismiss her playful advances just as ‘easily’.


	4. Two Can Play That Game.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's only so much pain a woman is willing to take for a man she loves.

Every time she had tried to broach the unmistakably awkward elephant in the room, he had either changed the subject or come up with an excuse as to why he had to leave. She had grown extremely frustrated with his lack of communication when it came to that one specific topic, one that meant everything to her. And so she kept provoking him with torturous remarks and indecent acts, such as bending over suggestively when she was picking up something that was below her. _Yes, he had me resort to the most cliche and undignified tactics, but all was fair in love and war, no?!_ The situation sure felt like both for her. Their loving and amiable relationship had turned into one of attraction and unresolved tensions. It became a battle of who would give in first: would he confront her so they could deal with their feelings, or would she give up and give in? As long as he refused to acknowledge their situation, she would keep pushing him. _I was born stubborn_. 

But the more emboldened she felt, the more distressed she became when Steve was with Sharon, and most of the time it seemed like she was stuck in a rollercoaster of feelings, that took her real high one moment, only to make her come crashing down hard later. She had never felt this kind of agony before, and it was turning her into someone she was not. 

Then one not so particular night she finally reached her limits: Tony had found a way to contain clean energy in smaller holders and knew it would become a big hit on the business market, so he threw a party to launch the product and to celebrate his awesomeness - definitely not something uncommon at all. As with all parties at the Avenger Tower, it was organized on the top floor and everyone who lived in there was invited. She tapped her fingers mindlessly on the bar of the elevator as it took [Y/N] and her date up to the penthouse. 

“I can’t believe I’m about to meet the Avengers.” He said excitedly. 

“Yeah…” She regretted bringing him along. 

“In person.” He smiled at her and she nodded her head slowly. 

The only reason she decided to bring along a date was so she would not be pining over Steve at the party, but actually had someone to keep her mind distracted. She had gone out with this guy a couple of times before, and he was nice enough. _So, what the hell, why not?!_ They opened the doors to the penthouse and walked in as loud chatters and a song with a danceable beat traveled through the air. She looked around the room, searching for him, when she saw Sharon. _He had brought her to the party. Of course_. He was walking up to Sharon and handed her a drink. She smiled at him, and [Y/N] began to tense up. _I should not have come_. 

“Who’s your friend?” Tony greeted [Y/N] and her date. 

“Oh, this is Tom. Tom this is Tony, and that’s Thor.” 

She pointed to the men, and they made some small talk but [Y/N] was no longer listening. She could not take her eyes off of Steve. She could not help but admire how dashing he looked when he dressed up. He threw his head back in laughter at something that Sam said to him, and she saw the muscles in his arm tighten against the fabric of his slim white Oxford shirt. _Always wearing tight shirts, what a tease_. The drink in his hand completed the picture for her, and she emitted a long and deep breath, trying to relieve some of her tension. When his eyes found hers he gave her a smile and wave, but she averted her eyes. _Speaking of drinks_. 

[Y/N] sat down on the high barstool at the bar and ordered a Cosmopolitan from the bartender. The people at Tony’s party were animated and carefree, and she was envious of them. With her head resting in her hand, she somberly stirred the decorative strip of lemon in her cocktail as she stared outside at the huge windows at the back of the room, and wondered what other people were doing, people not stuck at this gathering. 

“Hi there, sweetheart.” Steve sat down in front of her on a barstool and gave her a lopsided smile. 

A prickling sensation stirred in the pit of her stomach at his term of endearment for her, and then moved upwards when she gazed at his smile.

“Steve, hey.” _Why did he have to look so handsome?_

“You’re not avoiding me, are you?” He put down his drink on the counter.

“Maybe a little.” 

She shifted in her seat and looked to the floor. The high split in her sleek red dress exposed her legs, which now were placed in-between his, and her right knee was almost touching his thigh. How she longed to touch him there. Anywhere. 

“What’s wrong?” He put his hand on her chin gently, and lifted her head so her gaze returned to meet his. 

Y _ou’re here with her_ , she thought but she did not dare vocalize that. She reproached herself in her mind. _Why would he not be here with her, anyways. They are together after all. Even if he had not brought her over in ages. Even if they had been seeing less of each other_. [Y/N] had taken that as signs that things were looking up for her, her and Steve, but tonight just proved her wrong. 

She sighed while she leaned her face into his caring touch, and lifted her own hand to caress his. “It’s nothing, Steve. Just enjoy the party. You deserve it… after all the hard work you’ve been putting in. I’ve just got a head ache. Think I’m just going to head back to my room in a bit.”

“What about your date?”

“He seems more interested in Thor’s chest than mine. I think we’re good.” 

“I’ll come with you then. Keep you company.”

“And what about _your date_?”

He turned his head to find Sharon, and he realized she was staring at them. He slowly removed his hand from [Y/N]’s chin.

“Yeah… I’ll see you later, Steve.” She got up from the high chair, when Sam walked up to them.

“What’s going on here?” Sam asked. 

“Nothing, Sam. I was just leaving.”

“[Y/N]…” Steve called after her, but she ignored him. 

“Steve, my man, you need to be careful here. You’re playing with fire.” Sam took [Y/N]’s seat in front of Steve. 

“I know. I-I don’t know what to do. Our relationship has changed… she changed. One minute I think she's pushing my buttons on purpose, the next she grows distant. And I don't know what to do about it.” 

“You mean to say you don’t reciprocate whatever the hell is going on with you two?”

Steve remained silent and stirred his drink, trying to find a suitable answer.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” **–** Sam patted his friend on the shoulder **–** “You need to figure this shit out. _Anyone_ can feel the tension that’s been surrounding you two these last couple of months.”

“Months?! [Y/N] only found out about the drawings last week.” 

“Oh, yeah man, definitely months. You guys wear your hearts on your sleeve.” Sam chuckled at Steve’s surprised expression.


	5. All Is Fair In Love And War.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fed up with the situation, [Y/N] takes some drastic measures.

“[Y/N], I rreally don’t think vhat you’rre planning to do is a good idea at all.” Wanda said once she sat down next to her friend on the couch.

“Wanda! What did we say about reading my mind.” [Y/N] put down the tub of _Ben & Jerry’s_ on the table. 

“You know I can’t contrrol it. You also know vhat you plan to do is vrrong.”

“I don’t care. I have to do _something_.”

“He has a girrlfriend.”

“I don’t fucking care anymore, Wanda!” 

When darkness had fallen, and Steve walked into his room after a long day of work, he found [Y/N] seated on his window bench. When he closed the door, she got up and walked towards him. He was surprised to see that she was wearing a silky grey bathrobe that was loosely wrapped around her body, barely held in place by the band. His eyes glided over a small portion of her chest that revealed itself and he swallowed when he noticed the contour of her tautened nipples through the delicate fabric, before he looked back in her eyes.

“Hi?” A wary uncertainty was written all over his face, and he moved to his desk.

“Hey Steve.” She handed him an item that was wrapped. 

“What’s this?”

“A birthday present.” She smiled at him. 

“Ah, but it isn’t my birthday until…” **–** He looked at his phone before placing that on his desk as well **–** “oh, no. It officially is my birthday. Thank you, [Y/N].” He smiled back at her.

“Won’t you open it?”

“Of course.” He began to unwrap his gift and she sauntered to his bed. 

“Oh, this is amazing.” He admired the zippered leather portfolio case. 

“For your sketches. This way you can travel with them, without fearing you’d harm the papers.”

“That’s very thoughtful of… _what_ are you doing?” His voice was alarmed. 

The soft hairs on her arms stood up. She had turned her body towards him, and she was slowly pulling at the band of the silky bathrobe until the fabric of her bathrobe hung loosely on her frame, this time exposing much more naked skin. A rush of excitement sped through her body when his eyes were on her. She had never been this bold with anyone before, and she felt completely vulnerable. She was not wearing anything underneath her robe, and she began to remove it while her sight was fixed on him. He did not know where to look. His hands began to sweat and his eyes darted from her bare flesh to her intense stare, to anywhere but her.

“What are you doing?” His voice got caught in his throat. 

“I’m giving you your birthday present.”

“Excuse me?” He said as he still averted his eyes. 

He heard his bed crack, and he looked towards it only to see her stretch out on top of it with catlike movements. Dubious sentiments were raising within him, along with another part of him that he felt rising.

“I’m giving you the real deal.. to draw. It’s what you want, isn’t it? It’s why you’ve been drawing me, _over and over again_?” Her voice was dangerously low. 

“You should leave.” He gulped, but this time did not avert his eyes. 

“How do you want me?”

“This is wrong. I’m with Sharon.”

Hearing her name hurt, but she pushed away that feeling, “It’s just like an art class with a nude model, and you can have me _any way_ you like.”

“This… you should really leave.” He sounded angry, but she did not stop.

“Or I can sit, or I can lie down.” She did as she said and rolled around his bed, never taking her eyes off of him. 

He cleared his throat, and the faint blush that had crept up his cheeks was very visible now. 

Feeling himself weaken mentally, he leaned down on the chair. His mind was racing with so many thoughts, some tellings him to run away yet his feet did not move, while other thoughts encouraged him to do as she suggested, to draw her. _It had been something he wished to do. She was granting his wish. Just like any nude model. Right?_

After a moment of silence he finally spoke again, “On your belly.” **–** His voice was steady again ashe grabbed the chair from his desk in one hand, the other still holding on to his birthday present, and began to walk towards the bed **–** “Lean on your arms, your chin resting in that hand.” 

With each command he gave, a thrilling hot flash surged from her chest to her belly, and she wholeheartedly did as he ordered. 

He placed the chair on the side of his bed and sat down as he opened the notebook. He observed her body silently, before saying “Cross your feet, flat on the bed.”

“And look… at me.” He said as his pencil was ready.

Their eyes connected for a second, and that dull ache deep down in her nether regions had begun to throb. His hand made quick jerks over the sheet of paper, the sound of pencil strokes filling the room. With each time that he looked in her glittering orbs he drew her in closer, making the ache spread further through her body, up to her chest and down to her toes. The comfortable warmth began to feel like a scorching heat, and she had to close her eyes to steady her breathing. _This has never happened to me before. Then again, I’ve never done anything like this before_. She tried to understand why her body responded so strongly, even without a single touch. 

As time passed by, she saw his stormy blues glide away from her face, to other parts of her figure, and it gave her the opportunity to admire him in return without feeling embarrassed. His body was tense as he sat hunched over slightly in his chair. His foot was placed perpendicular over his other leg, creating the figure four. She could not help but graze her eyes over his pelvis, which became very exposed in this position, and she wondered what it would be like to sit on those strong legs. The more she thought about it, the more flustered she became, which brought about warm blushes on her face, and down her neck and chest. 

And so here she was: ‘Miss-I’m-virtuous-and-I-don’t-cause-any-drama’. _Yeah right_. She could not believe she had turned into this person. This person who was willing to cross moral boundaries. The whole situation was strange to her. Part of [Y/N] wanted to seduce him, but she knew she should not be that brazen with him. She was already pushing her luck with this right now. When his bulge became perceptible, her first instinct had been to ask him what exactly he had been drawing, since she wanted to know what impacted him so. A shudder went through her body when he quickly made eye-contact with her, and she had never felt more sensual. But she was afraid her curiosity and the sound of her voice would break this almost hypnotic spell they had going on as he concentratedly drew her nude body and she tried not to overstimulate her mind. 

“I’m done. Well, the rough sketch is done.” He finally broke their silence and put down his pencil. 

She reached for his blanket and pulled it up her body, a failed attempt at covering herself, while she sat up in his bed. He averted his eyes again, another blush creeping up his cheeks when he irrevocably realized the painful state his body was in. Quick hands placed the leather case on his legs to conceal his unease. She smiled at the wasted effort, and got out of his bed, wrapping the blanket around her body. 

“Can I see?” She approached his chair, walked behind him and leaned down, her mouth only inches away from his ear. 

“Steve. You made me so… beautiful.” Her voice was but a whisper. 

“You _are_ beautiful, [Y/N].” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, moving his face away from her mouth.

“Well, happy birthday, Steve.” She put her hand on his arm and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, while his hand gripped the armchair in response. 

“T-thank you.” He cleared his throat.

She removed the blanket from her body and put it over his shoulder while he quickly looked in front of him, so he would not see her naked body. She smiled, and picked up her bathrobe from the floor and returned to her room as abruptly as she had announced her birthday gift for him hours ago.


	6. We Need To Talk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is finally ready to talk about everything that's been left unsaid after [Y/N] saw his sketches.

She had surprised him with that nocturnal visit, but it also pushed him to finally have a talk with her, about the drawings she found two weeks ago, about the feelings that they may or may not have for one another, and what that meant for [Y/N], for him, and for Sharon. He could no longer ignore the romantic and sexual overtones whenever they were communicating. Their relationship had altered so much, and he was unhappy with how they had begun to avoid one another, only to seek each other’s comfort later on. He accepted that he wanted more. The problem was that he still did not know what to do about it, and the guilt he felt towards Sharon was eating away at him. 

He found [Y/N] in the common room, horizontally lounging on the couch with her phone up in the air in front of her face. _Probably on that tumblr website again, grinning at jokes about me_. When he said her name he had startled her, and the phone slipped out of her hands and landed right on her chin then fell to her chest. He could not help but laugh at her adorable expressions. 

Feeling flustered, she sat up straight and rubbed the soar spot on her chin begrudgingly while he sat down next to her.

“Are you ok, sweetheart?”

She smiled at his cheerful face, “If that’s going to be a big purple bruise tomorrow, then I will have to get back at you. This is my face we are talking about.”

He laughed again, and she nudged his arm with her shoulder. 

“So, uhh, maybe we should talk?” He finally said those words and an uneasy silence descended over the two of them.

“Yeah? What about?”

“ _Us_. Want to talk in my room?”

Her arms wrapped around her chest, and she shook her head. 

“Ok, we can stay here.” His voice was kind and reassuring.

She put her hands on the edge of the couch and looked away, “So…?”

“I wanted to apologize for avoiding this talk. I didn’t-I still don’t know how to deal with it.”

“Deal with what exactly?”

“My… feelings for you.” 

“So you admit it then?”

“I do.” 

They were both quiet again. Though she was relieved that he acknowledged there was something going on between them, she was unsure how to continue the conversation now that he had uttered that there were feelings. _How does he feel exactly?_

“I never meant for it to happen. I never wanted to care about you this much, but… I do. I didn’t think that I’d find someone as special after Peg… You really caught me by surprise.” He tried to explain himself.

“Then why are you still with _her_ , Steve?" **–** She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, but instead she threw her hands in the air in exasperation **–** "We obviously have more in common when it comes to the way we think about the important things in life. And I've never been this close or comfortable with a man before. You're my best friend. You're the person I want to talk to when I wake up and before I go to bed. I know you feel the same way, so don't even bother denying it.” Everything she had been holding in for so long, finally came pouring out.

“I'm not denying it.”

“Would you say you feel that way about _her_?”

He was silent. 

“See! You _know_ it. You're only with her because she's that one last link to Peggy, to your past. And that's not fair to any of us, Steve.” 

He remained silent. 

“And quite frankly it's kind of twisted.” 

He finally spoke again, “Look, there's more to it than that. It's just complicated. Sharon and I have been together for a long time. I can't just throw that away.” 

“Fine, but I'm no longer going to wait around. I've been harboring these feelings for you for such a long time now and it's killing me. _You're killing me, Steve._ ” **–** She felt a lump in her throat **–** “Make up your mind, so I can move on regardless of your choice. Just.... just release me from this prison." She began to sob. 

“[Y/N], please... I'm sorry.”" He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but she pushed him away. 

“No!” She whimpered and ran to Wanda’s room as teardrops began to stream down her face. 

He had finally said the words she had been longing to hear. She was no longer alone in this suffering, because he suffered along with her. But it was not enough. She wanted all of Steve, and she wanted him all to herself. She could no longer take satisfaction with any less. It had to be all or nothing. She did not mean to give him an ultimatum, but after months of pining over him, she needed the hardship to end, and only he could do that. 

“Wanda?” **–** She wiped away her tears when she saw Vision was with Wanda in her bedroom **–** “Oh, sorry. I’ll come back later.”

“No, [Y/N], stay.” Wanda looked at Vision, and he nodded and flew through her bedroom wall.

“The doorr, Vision! Never mind. Come herre, [Y/N]. Talk to me.” She closed the door to her bedroom, sat [Y/N] down on her bed and the two talked about what just had taken place. 

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t just leave her. It hurts so much.”

“They’ve been together for yearrs. In those yearrs they made prromises and drreams together. Now that he is finally able to deal with his emotions, he has to rrevise his life. And you know Steve: he’s loyal to a fault. I’m surre he doesn’t vant to hurrt her feelings, even vhen it’s at his own expense.”

“But what about _my_ feelings?”

“He’ll do right by you. I know he will.” Wanda smiled at her friend. 

“I don’t know, Wanda.”

“I do.” Wanda squeezed [Y/N]’s hand reassuringly. 

After spending hours together with Wanda, dealing with her feelings, then not dealing with her feelings, she finally went back to her own room. It had gotten late, and she had become very tired from all the crying she had done earlier. With a heavy sigh she undressed herself, and put on her favorite shirt and pajama bottoms, and readied herself for bed. The tension began to disappear from her body. She had finally gotten comfortable and warm underneath the covers of her bed, when she heard that familiar knock on her door. He had come to visit her at night again, after weeks of refraining from their nightly visits. 

The door creaked and a long and narrow band of golden light shone into her room. He tiptoed inside as his eyes searched for hers to see if she was awake. She sat up slightly on her bed, and his body loosened up when he realized he did not wake her up. 

“Hey.”

“Steve.” Her voice was groggy, she had been near sleep.

“Didn’t wake you, did I?” **–** He sounded remorseful, and she shook her head **–** “Can I?” He pointed to her bed, and she nodded. 

She lied her head down again, comfortable and warm, and nuzzled against her pillow, while her hair draped over it. The bed moved slightly when he lied down next to her and turned his body so he could look her in the eyes. She rubbed them softly, they were sore and dry, but it woke her up. 

“What is it?” She finally broke the silence. 

“I wanted to apologize.” 

“Again?”

He sought his words carefully, “I didn’t handle things well… Haven’t been handling them well for a while now.”

“Hm.” 

“And I don’t like that I hurt you. I’m really sorry.” He caressed her arm gently, and she closed her eyes while she sighed at his touch.

“It’s a complicated and messy situation.” She conceded. 

She knew he was not entirely to blame for her feelings. She could not blame him for being so damn wonderful. She loved that he had been so kind, so loving, and so generous with his attention to her. He had made her feel like she no longer had to hide herself with him, which ironically resulted in her hiding a big part of her feelings from him. 

“Very messy.”

“Yeah.” She curled up her legs, enjoying the added warmth he brought to her bed. 

“I went to talk with Sharon after you-we ended our conversation.” Her eyes shot open at his words.

“What did you two talk about?” She murmured. 

“I told her what was going on. How I feel… about you.”

“Oh.”

“She was upset.”

“I can imagine.” She didn’t know what to say now. It was true that she had stopped considering Sharon’s feelings, because her own became overbearing. But now that everything was out in the open, she could not help but feel bad for Sharon. 

“But she’s been upset with me for some time now. I guess she saw it coming.”

“What?”

“She didn’t like how close we had become. We’d been arguing about it for some weeks.”

“Is that… why she didn’t come around here anymore?

“H-mm.” **–** He rested his hand on her arm while he contemplated his emotions **–** “I tried to fight my feelings. I tried to avoid you. I _really_ tried.”

“Oh, I know.” 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, so he could see her face better. 

Nervous butterflies began to flitter around in her stomach, and she bit her bottom lip and held on to her pillow to will them away. His kindness was tormenting her. 

“So now what?” She tried to not think about her inner turmoil. 

“Well… we talked about it, and decided it was for the best to end our relationship, since my heart isn’t in it anymore.” 

Sweaty hands held on tighter to her pillow, while her heart began to soar so hard that she was afraid it would flutter out of her chest, “Oh, ok.”

“Yeah…” His voice died down. 

The two remained on her bed, comfortably staring at one another while silence took over even if their minds kept racing, but both of them did not know what to say. [Y/N] was grateful that he had reduced her suffering by talking to Sharon about the situation. She was elated that he had chosen to end the relationship, because it implied that he chose her, even if he did not say it yet, she knew it. 

Anxious fingers traveled to his warm chest, where she felt the heavy thud of his heart speed up, “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we… hug? I-I could really use a hug.” 

“Yeah. Come here, sweetheart.” He cleared his throat and pulled her in-between his arms. His back was flattened on the bed and he looked up at the unilluminated ceiling, and she nuzzled against his chest, still listening to the beat of his heart as it now slowed down to a regular pace, while he held her tightly with one arm and caressed her shoulder with the other. 

“Thank you, Steve.” She whispered before she dozed off again.


	7. Set Me Free.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath: Steve and [Y/N] take it slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka it's time for some smutty goodness (I'm trash).

Steve had finally released her from her prison, and the days that followed were marked by untroubled and enrapturing sensations. _Fucking finally_. [Y/N] and Steve had decided to take the next steps in their relationship slowly ( _Well, Steve had insisted_ ), because he felt guilty about how he had let the sexual tension escalate between them while he was still with Sharon, and he did not want to cause her any further pain. It also provided him the opportunity to resolve the mess he had made with [Y/N], and bring their relationship back to normal whilst simultaneously advancing it.

“Come on! The most annoying five minutes of _The Force Awakens_ are when Luke appears in the end, and we have to look at nothing but his annoying face.” [Y/N] stuffed her face with caramel-salted popcorn, causing half of it to fall in and on her shirt, after the end of the movie. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not _that_ bad. At least he isn’t like that Kylo Ren-guy.” Steve said with an amused smile plastered on his face while he picked the popcorn from her shirt and ate it up. 

“You take that back right now!” She snatched the next popcorn out of his hand and ate it up herself, as an indication of protest. 

He threw his had back in laughter, “I love that you’re so passionate about this.” 

Enamored with her enthusiasm, he leaned back towards her, his salty hand stroking her cheek, and he nudged her chin towards him so he could gently brush his lips against hers. It was just a small and modest kiss, but it was his sign of admiration and appreciation. And it also shut her up. His lips were warm and tasted like mint and sugar, and she slid her hand around his neck to make the kiss last longer. 

Unbeknownst to Steve, [Y/N] had already forgiven him for everything the moment he explicitly told her he wanted to be with her, that he loved her so much that he was afraid to acknowledge such deep feelings, that he did not want anything or anyone else but her, and when he softly asked if she would still have him, she almost broke down with tears of joy. That kind of happiness erased all her past suffering. 

Steve had definitely learned a lesson from their messy predicament. Though he no longer communicatively held back his romantic feelings towards her, he did refrain from full physical contact for a good while, because he wanted to do things the right way. He took her out on dates, showered her with small presents, and kissed her deeply, unintentionally augmenting their sexual needs while matters heated up. And boy, did she need the release.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this _here_.” Steve tried to control the shakiness of his voice, but did not stop her actions. 

She had cornered him behind the staircase in Clint’s house. They were visiting her half-brother and his family; after they told him about their relationship, he wanted to have a few words with Steve. Her lips were tracing the warm skin of Steve’s neck, and lingered when he held in his breath, while she stood on her toes and pressed her breasts against his swollen chest. Despite his little protests, Steve had wrapped his hands around her waist, and held her in place as his head was thrown back in pleasure. 

“The kids. The Kids. They could see us.” 

“Shhh.” She twirled her tongue around his earlobe before she sucked on it, and he softly dug his fingers in her skin. She had become very familiar with his body, and knew just which buttons to push, to keep this situation going. Her hand rubbed against his abdomen, lifting his tight shirt up, as she tried to gain more access.

“Steve’s right. The kids could see. _Or me._ I could see. I don’t know which is worse.” Clint stepped towards them, an unimpressed expression on his face, and [Y/N] moved away from Steve while he straightened up. 

“I’m sorry about that, Clint.” Steve cleared his throat. 

“I’m not.” [Y/N] raised her shoulders. _I really was not_.

“Yeah, yeah. We need to talk, Rogers.” Clint said.

Steve gave her an awkward smile and followed Clint out back. She could not help but chuckle at the sight of her annoyed brother and her embarrassed boyfriend. With a smile she returned to the kitchen to ask Laura if she needed any help with the dishes. 

When enough time had passed by, Steve was finally ready to take the next step with her, and it had been in her room. The room where they had spent countless nights together conversing until daytime broke, where they had passionately kissed and caressed each other, and had comfortably slept in each other’s arms after a long day at work. Her bed had begun to smell like him, earthy and fresh, and she was eager for her bed to have the ultimate hallmarks of their love too.

It was a regular Tuesday night. He had not taken her out on one of his sweet and considerate dates. Instead, they had dinner at home, after a long day at work, like they did most days and were taking it easy during a movie. This way it meant more to her. Their dates were fun and special, but she enjoyed the ordinary moments they spent together much more, because those moments were abundant and filled with long conversations, sheepish smiles, and small and not-so-innocent touches. After almost two-thirds of a year of pining after him, she was happy to fully enjoy all the simple ways in which he belonged to her, and she belonged to him. 

“Steve, I’m getting kind of sleepy.” She gave him a look and nudged her head towards the door. They had been watching a movie together with Wanda and Sam, and as soon as the credits came on, she was ready to head back to bed and, perhaps, cuddle with Steve.

“Aw, no midnight snacks?” Sam wiggled his eyebrows.

“No more! I’m beat.” [Y/N] answered while she stretched her body. 

“Today’s been pretty exhausting.” Steve got the hint. 

The two gave their rushed goodnight and walked back to her room. 

“Oh, wait. I need to get my pajamas from my bedroom.” Steve said while he closed her bedroom door behind them.

“Or you can just sleep in your underwear. I don’t mind.” She raised her shoulders innocently and walked towards the upholstered bench in front of her bed to pick up her own pajamas and put them on. 

Steve raised his eyebrows, and the lines on his forehead became marked. He looked a bit taken back, but then the corner of his mouth lifted slightly and he started undressing without saying a word. 

_What an unexpected turn of events_. She looked at the show he was putting up, and chewed on the bottom of her lip, suddenly forgetting all about her own pajamas. 

He took in her intense stare and feigned indignation, “Shouldn’t you be turning around now, ma’am? Something about preserving my modesty.”

“Absolutely not.” She smiled, and sat down on the bench without taking her eyes off of him. 

His lashes fluttered down, and an uneven smirk appeared on his face, but he did not stop undressing. His arm moved to the back of his tight grey shirt, and with one swift movement he pulled it off his head. [Y/N]’s teeth grazed her bottom lip in appreciation. He had to chuckle at her reaction, but his hands moved down the buckle on his jeans. He slowly opened and then removed his belt. _That was completely unnecessary. He could have just opened it and then his pants, but this man is teasing me right now._ The longing she felt for him intensified with each slow movement he made. His eyes not leaving hers. The almost unbearable throbbing in between her legs now manifested itself in her chest as a source of heat that spread all over her upper body, sending tingling sensations everywhere, and making her shudder lightly. _Fuck, I want him_. 

With two long-paced steps she stood in front of his half-naked body, and she immediately lifted her heels so she could reach his lips. His hands moved from the zipper of his jeans to the small of her back, gently spurring her on. She nudged his face to hers and immediately felt his tongue searching for his. The impassioned motion made her heat up again, and her hands roamed over his body, never finding a fixed destination, as their lips collided over and over. When she felt the hem of his jeans, she made a fast jerk and opened the zipper completely. And when he leaned deeper into the kiss she moved away and broke the kiss with a smirk on her face. He tried to find her lips again, but her smirk just grew bigger in response. When he opened his darkened eyes, she could clearly see his own desire growing, and it was doing things to her. She slowly began to pull down his jeans, and her body lowered along with the movement until she was down on her knees.  He panted slightly and tried his hardest not to take control of the situation, of his dire needs. But that didn’t work out. With a gulp he stepped out of his jeans, and lifted [Y/N] up in his arms. It caught her by surprise and she laughed, but wrapped her legs around his waist tightly as he guided her to the bed.

“You good?” He tried to focus. 

“More than good…” She looked at his lips.

His strong arms were both comforting and maddening. They fell down softly on her bed, and she spun them around. She enjoyed straddling him, and he loved the view. His expectant eyes gazed at her quietly while his big and dedicated hands praised the curve of her bottom. She gave him a mischievous smile and flipped her hair, before her hands moved to his neck for another long kiss. As they deepened it, he pressed his fingers in her skin and she ground her affected parts against his. His breath hitched at the sensation of her softness seducing his increasing hardness, and he moaned softly against her lips. 

Their forms curved and twisted as they tried to make each other feel more. His form was rubbing against her in all the right places. With each ensuing movement she started to feel dizzier, but he kept her lucid enough with fervent touches. When he removed her shirt, and pushed her hair out her face, he took a moment to take her in, all of her, the state of her body and the aroused look on her face, before he pushed her head to his mouth again. Their kisses were long and slow, both of them trying to relish the warmth and arousal that it brought with it. 

Needing a bit of air, she pushed against his upper body, and he laid down on the bed as she hovered on top of him. His strong hands roamed over her back once or twice, before they unclasped her bra. She slowly removed the straps, and their eyes met. When she took off the bra she saw his eyes darken once more as they traveled down. The sight of her exposed breasts were one of his favorite, and definitely the most distracting, parts of her body. Whenever he got caught a glimpse of it, his mind would wander, and she had begun to use this to her advantage. His hands glided back up and he bent forward, his plump lips finding her hardened nipples to provide them with more stimulation. He only augmented her craving. Her body was on fire, and only he could put it out. Gently he kissed her breasts and nipples, then carefully sucked on them, twirling his tongue around them and filling the room with her moans of pleasure. 

“Oh, Steve. I need more.”

He hummed against her breasts. 

“I need all of you.” She repeated.

They made eye contact and he nodded at her, giving her another long kiss, before he turned her around on the bed, and slowly made his way down her body, making sure each part of her body was stroked, or kissed, or licked until his head reached her private parts. That was when he stopped and she inhaled deeply awaiting his next move. He removed her jeans and underwear, and she willingly opened her legs for him. Now this was her favorite part. His head right between her legs. He smiled at her reaction, and bent to her knees, slowly working his way down with his wet lips as he observed her successive responses: She held in her breath, she licked her lips, she furrowed her brows, she grabbed the blanket, she arched her back, she tensed up, she sighed deeply, and she whimpered when he did something she especially enjoyed. He catered to her every need with light flicks, long and steady licks, and rough kisses. The warmth of his mouth against her needy skin began to build a new sensation inside of her. He nourished her until she could not take it anymore. And when she begged him to stop and started to wriggle away, he placed his arm on her belly, and held her body down on the bed, so she could not escape from his unbroken devotion, not until he drove her over the edge and she was finally relieved of all her tension. 

Trying to regain her composure she moved to her side, and she breathed in and out deeply, while he lied down next to her and nestled his arms around her. He loved watching her coming down from her high, so he adored her with soft kisses on her shoulder and soothingly caressed her arm. With a deep and content sigh she moved her hand to the tent in his boxers and began to alleviate his erect situation. He nuzzled his face in her neck, and she pumped him underneath his fabric until he began to groan softly in her ear. 

“Hold on.” Her voice was still breathy. 

She moved to the nightstand on her side, opened it, and blindly searched for something. 

“Here, Steve.” She turned her face to him as she showed him the condom.

“Are you sure?” 

“Could not be more sure.”

They still had not taken this last step, but enough time had passed by, and Steve finally felt comfortable -overworked- enough to finally go there. He took the condom and removed his underwear, before he kissed her again and pumped himself a couple of times in his hand, and put the condom on. He was about to lie on top of her, but she pushed him back next to her. 

“No, like this.” She whispered.

He laid down next to her again, spooning, both of them on their sides, and he bent over her, softly nibbling on her nipple while his hand moved down to her legs, which he opened by placing one of them over his hip. From the moment that Steve had told [Y/N] that this was one of his favorite positions, she had begun planning this. Heck, she had been touching herself every night he was not around fantasizing about this. His hand traveled down, and he held himself, before he gently situated himself against her entrance. She sighed and pushed against him, and he had to steady her body so he could control himself, with small circles against her entrance he managed to enter her inch by inch, gently moving in and out, allowing the movement to become slick and sweet. 

“This ok?” He asked when a pained expression became visible on her face.

“Yes. Steve, don’t you dare stop.” Her hand grabbed his hip.

He had neglected their sexual cravings long enough, so it was not the time for playing around, and he did as she requested. She held in her breath when he filled her up, and she tried to adjust to his size. His hips were firm against her bottom, and when he slowly took himself out only to push back in completely, a new sensation began to build inside of her; it was the most satisfying friction she could imagine, and it could only be met with loud moans and soft cries. 

“[Y/N]…” He breathed softly.

“Steve?” He had her panting again.

“You’ve no idea how amazing you feel.” His fingers dug deep in her skin.

Once he found a fixed rhythm, his face disappeared in her neck and her hair smothered his deep groans. She held on to his neck, in the hopes to steady herself against his thrusts, while his hand had moved to clutch her breast, softly squeezing when her moaning became extra loud and drove him even crazier. She considered using her fingers to give herself extra pleasure, but the way he filled her up was maddening enough, and she was not sure if she could handle the additional pressure against her barely-together bundle of nerves. 

“Oh my God, Steve.” **–** She gasped through her moans **–** “Oh my God.”

“Are you ok?” He lifted his head to look at her face.

She bit her lip, and rolled her pelvis against him to show him just how ok she was, and he threw his head back in response as his lips parted and a loud groan escaped. 

“Can you… can you go harder?” She asked when her craving became more ferocious. 

“You want me to go harder?” He raised his eyebrows, but did not stop moving. 

“Oh God, yes.” She lifted her face and kissed him. 

With a swift turn, he sat up, pushed her flat on her back, raised her knees, and nestled himself in-between her legs. With one slick movement he was inside of her again. He grabbed her hands and placed them next to her head, as he plunged inside of her deeper and harder. Another surge of desire flashed through her body, and she almost screamed out, but he muffled the sound with a wet kiss. There was no way to quiet the reverberation of wet, hot skin smacking against skin though, and with every frantic thrust she began to feel dizzier and more frenzied. 

“I’m going to come like this.” He warned as breathing became noticeably more strenuous for him.

“C-come.” She really had no words at this point, and was barely able to utter those.

As her own breathing grew more ragged against his lips and her fingers grabbed the blanket tightly, his movements became sloppier and it did not take much longer before his breath got caught in his throat, his body stiffened and he came inside of her with a deep sigh. He softly dropped his body on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around him while she tickled the back of his neck and hair with her fingers. He loved it when she played with his hair, and she knew this. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear, and left a wake of wet kisses in her neck before he traveled to her lips. 

“Hm, Steve…” She murmured during their kiss. 

With darkened eyes he gazed at her languidly, “[Y/N]?”

“That was everything I wished it would be.” 

“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows, before looking away and smirking, a thought occupying his mind. 

“And more.”

He looked back at her, his smirk turned into that lopsided grin that she adored, and she pulled his face back for another unhurried kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Do let me know if you liked it with kudos/comments, pretty please!  
> Find me on [tumblr](http://existentialmalaises.tumblr.com)!


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